The Desperate Struggle

Spiraling thoughts thrash around the walls of my mind, making me uneasy and obstructing slumber. The nature of these thoughts, I cannot fully disclose because it is amorphous even to me. Indeed, I struggle to give shape and order to randomness. However, I will attempt. Probably what lies at the forefront is the contemplation of the journey I must embark upon to achieve my purpose. Without clear direction and guidance, I feel lost at sea, like a Viking in search of new land believed to promise prosperity and euphoria. It is an arduous journey that makes me wonder if the promised land is as envisioned, but more concerning is the duration and distance of this voyage. For you see, the approach of the new year makes me think of its addition to my years, in the sense that time is escaping, the more it does, the more I realize how finite it is. I desperately struggle to hold on to every second, because I know it will be lost forever and as the seconds escape, the further I fear drifting from the land.